The Problem With Getting What You Want

One of my biggest accomplishments is helping women get the life they want, become the women they knew they could, and improve their self-worth, happiness, and overall health.

There’s only one problem.

“Ok Kerry, but what if I don't know what I really want?”

It’s okay to not know.

Because the reality of it is, that some of us are so used to going through the motions, to completing our daily tasks of: kids, work, dinner, clean... rinse & repeat; that we’ve become even further disconnected from what we truly want for ourselves. Or worse, we may not even believe that we deserve to figure it out.

So allow me this 4-minute space in your inbox to help you KNOW.

Because yes, you ARE worth figuring it out.

Here are my tips on helping you get clear on what you really want.

Identification. Identify the big-ticket dream that matter to you. Maybe start thinking little innocuous things and then keep brainstorming until the truth comes out. Were’ so busy getting through our to-do list that we often are passing over what we really want in life. This can be a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g: Perhaps it’s something you’ve wanted for yourself since childhood, or maybe it’s something you’re currently longing for. Either way, I want you to identify the things that are truly important to you where your dreams are concerned.

Create Space. Create a fun and energetic space to get into a conversation about what you really want. Identifying it, but then doing nothing about it won’t give you an accelerated result. Instead, take your thoughts from #1, and allow the space to get an idea of what you want to create. Allow yourself to dream and put down your barriers. If your life looked different and you were happy and healthy, what would that look like?

Lose distractions. Eliminate the people, habits, or conversations that don’t support your dreams. Get quiet and visualize what it's like to have that thing you want to happen. This doesn’t mean you have to shut off every outside distraction forever - just for the time being while you’re ultra-focused.

Want in on my messy secret?

I used to have a life that I wasn’t happy about. I was destroying intimate relationships, stressed at work (RIP my previous unfulfilling job). I wasn’t married and didn’t have kids. All of this broke my heart.

It was then and there that I declared I was making a change for myself. A declaration to put me first instead of everyone else. A declaration to find my husband. And a declaration to have a baby. (Wait, what? Who was I to declare these things?)

Yes, it was bold for me to declare that I was about to have it all. The truth was that yes, it was scary for me to declare these things (especially from on stage, hello accountability)... but you know what? It would have been scarier to have NOT made that declaration. Because in reality, it would have been sickening to think about getting to the end of my life and realizing that I didn’t even go for it. >>Scarier to think that I would still have been stuck in my mundane life if I hadn’t even given it a try.

It was time I started showing up in the world and putting myself first. I took my own advice and got clear on what I wanted, created and held a space for it, and said a big ol’ ‘NO’ to all distractions.

I became fiercely determined to get what I wanted.

And in order to take my advice and put my plan into action [...#1 hubby and #1A baby], I had to get creative. Here’s what I did:

Wanting a husband and a baby meant I needed to tap into my feminine energy. I signed myself up for online dating. I invited the universe to bring my loves to me. I went to fertility classes, and I went to mindset classes… ultimately - I put it out to the world what I really wanted.

I got clear on my dream, I held a space for it, and I became wildly focused on achieving it.

It didn’t happen overnight…

But let me tell you - It happened.

And today I’m happily married with a beautiful 4-year old.

Ok, the balls back in your court now.

Are you making time in your life to make your happiness a reality?

Or are you just going to keep tending to other people and tell yourself you're too busy, only to wake up one day realizing you’ve been unhappy and unhealthy all these years?

You’re encouraged today to make your own declaration about what you truly want out of life.

Because if the world doesn’t know what you want, how can it bring it to you?

Take a step forward to call that in.